Somewhere along the line in modern history there developed the conviction that individual "selves" were more interesting and absolute than relationships. To trace the history of this development would take some time, but we might begin by citing the french philosopher Rene Descartes' famous creed:

"I think, therefore I am."

From there ensued a whole cultural and intellectual tradition that understood the autonomous, rational, thinking "self" as objectively capable of discerning what was true and living a truthful life. Authority and tradition were seen as impediments to the flowering of this supposed "self" into a full-fledged existence as it rationally and objectively wove its way through the vicissitudes of history. In time, this radically individualized way of knowing and understanding "self-hood" eventuated in what we have today: more or less "omnivorous selves", who understand truth only by way of the pursuit and satisfaction of their own desires. The modern self is thus a self that sees itself as the ultimate arbiter of truth as it pursues its desires in an unfettered way. Authority, tradition, story, and the obligations that issue from those things are of no concern to the modern self, because those things stand in the way of this self self-expressing its desires, which of course is the point of this self's existence.

    "I think, therefore I am"
    "I express, therefore I am"
    "I consume, therefore I am"
    "I desire, therefore I am"

    It doesn't take much investigation to see the manifold ways in which this way of understanding "self-hood" poisons our world. Without a guiding narrative or framework to orient these omnivorous, consumeristic selves in the world, a "telos" to tell their desires to what end they ought to be oriented and where they get off, all we are left with is an empty space in which desires are left to collide and consume each other—all in the name of being "authentic selves".

    I take it that the "authentic self", the "real me" buried somewhere beneath a web of obligations and commitments or "out there" somewhere to be found is a myth at best, a destructive and profound heresy at worst. The modern self thinks that it can find itself if it unfetters itself from cumbersome commitments, if it has the freedom to write it's own story. And that's fine as far as it goes, but when you get right down to it, you've got to wonder where that "real me" would be if it weren't for a narrative, a story, and a web of commitments and obligations that "interfaces" me and make me who I am.

    I mean, is there some "real Andrew" out there that I can abstract from my history in the Arndt family? Is there some "authentic me" out there (or buried deep within) that if I disentangled myself from the day-in and day-out routine of waking up with and coming home to my family I could discover?  If I walked away from my calling as a pastor in order to be true to some other desire embedded deep within, would I really find myself?

    The reality is that moms, dads, pastors, friends, family members, etc, who are constituted by stories, obligations, and commitments are far more interesting than "selves" with their "selve-ish" desires. And what the modern self fails to realize is that in pursuing its desires unfettered, in seeking to disentangle itself from narrative, tradition, history, and commitment, what it achieves is not a "widening" or "expanding" of the self, but a profound and disturbing "narrowing" of the self.

    Selves become smaller and lose robustness when they're allowed to abstract themselves from history and the demands that history places on us. And the "authentic self", in my judgment, is simply not a self worth having.

    So, when I hear church folks and leaders say from time to time, "You know, the real thing is being true to yourself," I think to myself, "That is the biggest pile of bull____ I've ever heard." The gospel isn't about the quest to be true to the inner self, but rather, the gospel exposes the self for the lie that it is and calls it to orient it-self towards a reality far greater and more profound than the paltry, emaciated "authentic self" could ever hope to achieve. To put it another way, the church's job is not to validate our "selves", but to actually GIVE us selves worth having in the first place. For we all know that heroes don't become heroes by pursuing their "authentic selves", but by committing themselves to the goal set out for them by the Teller of the tale. Imagine if Frodo had decided to be true to his "authentic self." Tolkien's tale would never have gotten underway.

    The gift of the gospel is that it gives these errant, wayward, omnivorous selves a story, a context, that helps them make sense of their lives, that gives their lives meaning. And thus we do a profound disservice to people when we tell them that they need to just be "true to their selves" in order to discover what life's really all about.

Life is not about being true to yourself. Life is about getting caught up in a Story. And in dying to our idolatrous "selves" we can live for something far greater than our own ridiculous and misguided desires.

So let us confidently cease and desist with the self-help jargon that masquerades as wisdom. Let us instead call people to a rich life lived in commitment, obligation, narrative, story, and service, and in so doing help them give up their pale, thin, emaciated selves, and find selves worth having in the first place.

Amen.